Hante Adventures challenge teens to grow as leaders and reach a deeper understanding of themselves within a supportive group. Check back regularly for our latest posts about Hante news, skill building, reflections and adventures. Subscribe to our blog’s RSS feed and get our news sent directly to you as we post it.

APR. 5, 2016

Looking Forward to Look Back

Bookmark and Share
Marlin Sill, Wilderness Program Coordinator

I’m always looking ahead.  What’s next, where to go, who to see.  Despite the joy and peace in stillness, I find immense excitement and joy from even the thought of the next step, the next trip, even just the next moment I will spend with friends.  And in many ways the emotions felt in the buildup are just as strong as those I experience once “I’m there”, or “it’s happening”.  And even in the moment of reflection after the fact, its not just one moment or second I remember, but a process.  A path of choices and ups and downs.

I spend a lot of time planning both for work and in my personal life.  It seems to be an integral part of my nature and how I walk through life.  And in my limited time exploring the things that make life whole, I’ve found that I’m happiest when I look forward, and not in a yearning sense, but in the sense of challenge and change.

At work my “off-season” is full of new ideas and planning for the summer to come.  Sometimes the trips are the same, and sometimes they are brand new.  But either way there is a whole new experience to summer and what can and will happen.

And then in my personal life I’ve found just as much joy in anticipation and changes I create and experience.  I know that once I get to the top of the mountain or to a new stretch of coast, I will have that rush of looking back and knowing I grew with each step I took.  I may even take time to think ahead to the next year, basking in the idea of riding the wave down and back up again.  And I find I do similar things with my hobbies.  Picking up something for the love of learning something new to look back and see how I’ve grown.   I even toy with the thought of fast forwarding to my days rocking on the porch looking back through my life and feeling the joy in knowing I chased the things I wanted and loved every minute of becoming who I wanted to become.

Marblog 1

A good friend left me a note one day when I felt unmoored with where I was.  It was a Pico Iyer quote, “A person susceptible to ‘wanderlust’ is not addicted to movement as committed to transformation”.  It was a note that helped me explain how my thoughts and desires were not merely those of feeling trapped.  I could still have a place I call home, but I could strive to travel and grow in a way that fulfilled me.

Its often said that the truest destination is the journey itself, and as much as I believe that, I also think there is a unique mindset to those of us always looking ahead to the next adventure, the next summit.  Because it is not “the moment” I strive for, but the opportunity to look back on the whole thing and see how I got there.  That moment of knowing I was chasing passion and joy and connection beyond all else.

Marlin Sill, Wilderness Program Coordinator